The time after the holidays is always strange, as there was just so much chaos and commotion, and then there is stillness. Of course, many people are now bustling, because once the new year arrives there is a push to do better, to do more, to be your best. But I haven’t felt that bestowed upon me this year.
We have had record cold temperatures this past week, and the chill has still not left my bones, even when I am as I am right now, which is curled up in my bed with many blankets as I watch the blizzard outside my window. The lack of sun has taken a toll on me, and I find my inspiration completely lacking. Winter is usually my favorite time of year, but this bitter cold has taken not just my warmth but my usual buffer against the normal complications in life. I have a great amount of tolerance usually, but lately, I have only felt exhaustion.
I fear that the biggest problem with this is that I am unable to pull myself out of this slump, which I am falling into continuously every single day like I am slipping down a landslide. Even as much as I love the snow, I’m watching it harass the poor mail person who is bravely walking up our driveway to deliver to us as the wind batters them in the face, and I find that I’m thinking of the snow as the enemy. This is truly the first time I’ve felt like this, and I am constantly looking for a sunny spot on a couch to lay on like a lazy kitten, even if the spot will only remain warm for a little while. I try to write, but there is nothing inside of me. I have no appetite for reading either, even when I hear about a delicious plot in a book. I find that I pick up a novel and start reading, but it reads like a technical manual, and I am bored, and I place it to the side with a sigh.
I am hoping others are feeling similarly, as this is certainly a winter blues situation. I want to be able to interact with people again and really hear them, to be inspired, to create something, and I hope those things will be coming to me soon.
Shirt – TJMaxx (Men’s section)
Sweater – Primark
I found this fragment of a thought, and it reminded me of how I’ve been feeling lately, more in a dream state than anything else:
“We didn’t listen to each other’s words.
We heard only the melodies in our voices.”
–Kurt Vonnegut, from Mother Night; “Romance…”