Navigating a Personal Crisis

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Hello Everyone,

I haven’t undergone a major life crisis, but over the past few weeks, I’ve had many small personal ones. It’s funny, sometimes little situations or changes can make me feel icky and unsettled, like I need a new layer of skin to shield me from everyone else. These things came up for various areas of my life, and I had to learn how to persevere, the way we all do from one time to another.

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Here is some advice if you have felt abandoned or lonely or out-of-sorts: Life goes on as long as you are deciding that it does. Buy yourself some flowers, make yourself some coffee, put on your favorite records, light your candles at night, go to sleep early, go to sleep late, watch all your favorite shows, buy ice cream in the middle of winter, kiss your dog, hug your friend, draw something, write something, play the piano (poorly), buy a book you may never read, and be happy. There are things changing in my life and I don’t always have control over that, but I realized that while sadness may always come in life, so can happiness. Sometimes they exist at exactly the same time.

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an 

open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when

I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should 

reach out and touch someone.”

-Maya Angelou 

 

Wonderful Things That I Received for Christmas

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For awhile now, I’ve been itching for a record player to play my favorite music on. I wanted to tangibly be connected with the songs, and I was overjoyed to unwrap one on Christmas morning.

My parents felt extremely nostalgic as they showed me how to properly use it and care for it, and I sat by the player and watched the records spin and stayed in a blissful trance.

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Some other amazing and thoughtful gifts that I received:

-A locket with my initials engraved on the front

-The Illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

-A collection of all the Harry Potter books in paperback

-A scarf from Italy

-A cross-stitching kit

-The new Pokemon game (thanks to my brother)

-Lush bath goodies

-A new watch

(and tons more)

 

I’ve been looking through all of these things lately and trying to use them and enjoy them. Sometimes after Christmas is over, I find that I forgot a lot of gifts or put them to the side. This year, I’m trying to use them all.

I decided that I was giving myself a gift this year: the will. I want to give myself the will to go out and do whatever it is that I feel like doing, or want to do, or should do. Life is too short, that is that realization that I have come to. Does that sound cheesy? Oh well. I don’t want to miss out on things because I was too lazy to seek it.

This brings me to my favorite quote from one of my favorite writers:

“If we wait until we’re

ready, we’ll be

waiting for the rest of our

lives.”

-Lemony Snicket

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Evolving

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The one thing that I hope for myself in the New Year (besides the list that I previously posted about) is that I continue to evolve. I think about the past, about the versions of myself that I used to be at other times, and I am happy with where I am now. I’ve continued to grow and to not be afraid of where change might bring me.

It is such a beautiful thing to keep evolving, to never stop being curious about things.

I find that far too often, curiosity and creativity is squashed, but if you chase the things you wonder about, your life can be so much more.

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And I don’t mean evolving in a Pokemon way, but, I suppose that works too. I think my plans to continue this pattern is to not have a pattern at all, but rather, to live spontaneously with a general path in mind. I have already started a few new ventures that I am excited to share very soon, and I am in love with the way they are shaping up.

What are your thoughts on change and growth?

-Heather

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“Magic is believing in yourself”

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I got this beautiful book yesterday for Christmas and I cannot put it down! Lang Leav is one of my favorite modern poets, and this book is beautiful. It has even inspired me to try my hand at poetry. I’m not sure how good that is yet. Maybe some will be shared on here eventually.

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I have been thinking a lot about inspiration lately. Creativity seems to shrink for me when there is a lot of outside distractions. The holidays obviously pose a threat.

But there is the hope of the future that keeps me going. Winter is my favorite season, and even though the holidays have passed and our lives need to continue without gifts and lights, we can continue to enjoy the rest of this season. There is so much beauty and quiet in the environment around me now that the snow has settled and the trees are bare.

I am very much loving this in-between time, this lull that exists in the middle of Christmas and the new year. It feels insulating, like we still have a little bit of life to live this year before we start new. I love that feeling, and I am so happy to wrap myself up in it like a blanket.

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Outfit details:

Shirt- American Eagle

Jeans- Target

Sweater- Primark

Boots- Old Navy

 

A little side note, I have a lot of plans for the new year! I am starting a story very soon and I am overjoyed to finally be rewriting it. I’ll also be starting a nature journal. I’d like to post some of that on here. I might fool around with some video content as well which might show me gathering some things for the journal. Let me know if you have any good ideas in regards to that!

-Heather

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Book Club | November 6th, 2016

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I have transitioned to poetry this month. Why I had never heard of Anna Akhmatova before is beyond me. She has all the right words that I needed to hear. Her poetry was stunning and I couldn’t put this book of selected works down. I’m so happy that my curiosity got the best of me when I took this out of the library. It was just what I needed.

To be honest with you, I needed a bit of a break from novels. This month I am participating in NaNoWriMo and all that novel writing leaves very little room for novel reading.

This is the Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets edition. These things are so cute. They have many other poets in these tiny little books with their selected works. If you can get your hands on some, I highly recommend reading.

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The categories of her work were split up from different periods and subjects she was writing about. Having this by my bed made sleepless nights much more bearable. I was in love with the poems that had imagery about the fall and autumn months.

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Because I read through this, I would really love to get a book about her life. I also had a lot of questions about the translation of the poems from Russian to English, and a lovely librarian answered all of them. There are some editions of her work that are split down the page and have the Russian text on one side with the exact translation on the other. I would be really interesting in reading that. I highly recommend this to anyone who loves poetry that is easy to read but has deep meanings behind them. It was a really beautiful collection of work and I’m overjoyed that I picked up this little book.

 

Favorite quote:

 “For this gloomy beast within my breast –
A heart. But the thing is,
We’ve all had to learn not to sleep for three years.
In the morning we shall find out
Who has died in the night.” 

Because some of the subjects and themes were dated and references historical events, I tried to look things up to follow along. There are tones of Stalinism and suppression in many of the poems. This woman is so creative and talented, and to see her struggle with the revolution in Russia was inspiring.

One last thing that I really liked about this, I didn’t have to think too hard. Some poetry that I’ve read from this era is a headache wrapped in ink. I struggle through some of the sentences and metaphors, but this one was straightforward. And that’s not to say that it doesn’t have depth or symbolism, because it does. But she doesn’t try too hard, she is honest and colorful in her descriptions, and that made it very relatable for me. Check out my Goodreads to see what else I’ve read/reviewed!

One more brilliant quote from this lovely genius:

“Wild honey smells of freedom

The dust – of sunlight

The mouth of a young girl, like a violet

But gold – smells of nothing.” 

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Hiatus

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Hello everyone,

It has been pretty slow on my blog lately, and that’s because a lot of things have been going on. I was having health problems at the beginning of the month, followed by a vacation, followed by coming back to lots of work. Because of all of that, I felt pretty emotionally exhausted, even after oversleeping most mornings and taking many afternoon naps. I think that I may need a little bit of time away from my blog (and the internet in general) until my work load slows down. As some of you may know, I work for a wedding stylist, and this is prime wedding season, so we have been working away every day to get things done.

While I take a small break from my blog and probably from Instagram, I’ll be focusing on working and taking some time for my own writing. I also will be working on things for my digital magazine, so if you’re interested in contributing, send me an email and check out my post about it here. 

I hope to be back relatively soon, with a well-rested mind and fresh ideas.

Talk to you later,

-Heather